Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence: Uncovering Your Inner Knowing

Walker Bird [00:00:00]:
If you've been wishing for deeper trust and authenticity in your relationships, looking for better communication skills with your partner, we hope that you'll join us for our latest course, 10 Essential Skills to Build Stronger and Healthier Relationships.

Theresa Hubbard [00:00:13]:
Yeah. Everything that Walker and I do is something that we put energy into creating it thoughtfully and intentionally. We're very curious about what might be most helpful for people and in building healthier skills in relationship. We recognize it's something that we all need to practice time and time again and know that we're not just talking about intimate partners in this course. We're talking about family, co workers, friends. We really want to walk through this process of building healthier relationship in all areas of our life, and we hope that you consider joining us. And enrollment opens February 1st. Launching March 20th.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:00]:
First day of spring and the first.

Kristin Webb [00:01:02]:
Day of our retreat.

Walker Bird [00:01:03]:
Yeah. Yeah, we'll see you there.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:06]:
Thank you.

Walker Bird [00:01:11]:
My Inner Knowing empowering you to find your compass for the journey. We are dedicated to supporting you to rediscover and trust your natural ability to navigate life. Each day by sharing insight and experience through the lens of two professional communicators and their guests, we intend to prompt internal inquiry that supports all those willing to explore a unique path.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:39]:
Well, hello, Kristin.

Kristin Webb [00:01:40]:
How are you? I'm good. How are you? Hello.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:43]:
Good, good. Thank you. Thank you for joining us.

Kristin Webb [00:01:47]:
Yeah, you're welcome. I'm excited to be here.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:50]:
Oh, thank you.

Kristin Webb [00:01:52]:
Oh, okay.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:54]:
So we love jumping in to the process of our awareness of my inner knowing. So when you think about what that is for you and where you are now, what comes to mind?

Kristin Webb [00:02:13]:
Well, when you say process, the first word that comes to mind is journey. Because it truly has been a journey, one that I'm still on. And yet I look back and see how far I've come, which is kind of fun and very, I don't know, gratifying in a way to see that. And yet looking forward, it's like, oh, how? How much farther can I go? So there's a bit of excitement about that.

Theresa Hubbard [00:02:44]:
Yeah. Far. I think it's far.

Kristin Webb [00:02:47]:
Yeah. Yeah. And it's fun, even though some it's not. Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:02:54]:
We can talk about those days, too.

Kristin Webb [00:02:56]:
Okay. Okay, Sounds good. But I will say my process has been one of really getting clarity on myself. So I'll start with a recognition maybe 15 years ago now, where I. Someone I don't even remember now, how it came about, was asking the question, well, what if what you're feeling isn't actually yours? And I was like, what? I mean, that's the thing. And, and that was kind of a cool recognition because I think so much of my life I'm a bit of a sponge and an empath and I tend to take on what other people are feeling and then I feel it and I'm. I automatically assume that it's mine. And so in the last, you know, 15 years, it's really been a journey of deciphering what really is mine.

Kristin Webb [00:04:00]:
And what have I just picked up because I'm working with so many people that are struggling themselves and I don't have to take their struggles on as well. So. So that's been a lifelong pattern where, you know, deciding what's my struggle to, to work through what's other struggle to let them work through. Self-subjugation has been a big thing in my background to kind of see. And that's, I guess, the way I'm seeing it and being able to kind of let it go. It's like, nope, that's not mine, that's yours. Because I really care about people. I want to help people kind of on their journey, and yet their path is probably. Well, not probably.

Kristin Webb [00:04:52]:
It is very different than mine. So I have to honor them in a way that allows them their path. So today it's a lot about self empowerment as well as the work I do with others is about empowering them. And I think not everyone's ready for that. A lot of people want the. In my coaching, they want the cookbook, what's the methodology, what's the approach? I'm like, well, I don't have one because we're all different and we're all unique. So anyway, yeah, my journey's been a lot of twists and turns along the way, but yeah, it's fun and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Theresa Hubbard [00:05:34]:
Yeah, yeah, agreed.

Walker Bird [00:05:36]:
So this, you know, in the last 15 years, when you started trying to figure out, well, what's really mine and, you know, what are my feelings, what are what's mine versus what are others. And there may be. There's not just feelings, it may be a lot of other stuff and you can explain that. But what's. Is there a point where you got to a discernment, you know, okay, this is how I know what's mine and what isn't mine.

Kristin Webb [00:06:04]:
I wish it was that simple.

Theresa Hubbard [00:06:06]:
Okay.

Kristin Webb [00:06:07]:
You know, because it's still a work in progress. Sure. Yeah. And I have to remember to ask myself, oh, I'm feeling anger. Is this mine? So I think today what I recognize is, you know, like, if I'M having a great day, and then something shifts fairly quickly. Then I kind of go through this mental, like, okay, who have I had conversations with? What have I. Who have I been around? I mean, what might I be picking up on of others? And when I do that, just sometimes asking those questions, I can feel it, like, leave or. Or get better.

Kristin Webb [00:06:46]:
I. I often think about. I get lighter with it. And so I don't know if I. There's one moment when I think back, it was more just the idea that, oh, wow. That some of this stuff that I'm feeling isn't mine. I don't have to claim it. I don't have to fix it.

Kristin Webb [00:07:07]:
I'm a big fixer. I like to, you know, from one fixer to another.

Theresa Hubbard [00:07:16]:
That's funny.

Walker Bird [00:07:17]:
What? I. I wasn't. I was. I was. I didn't ask it very well. That's the point in, you know, where you say it feels lighter or feels like I'm releasing something. And that's the question is where. Where is that sense coming to you? You know, what is that point where you're, like, in your body or in your mind? How does it come to you? And what you.

Walker Bird [00:07:40]:
Where is it?

Kristin Webb [00:07:41]:
Yeah, that's okay. I get your question now. It's in my body. I have to work to be in my body and not in my head. It's a very. I. I'm a. I'm a deep thinker.

Kristin Webb [00:07:53]:
I love to think things through. That's, I think, a lot of where the fixing comes from. I love to have a big problem thrown at me and dive in to solve the problem and figure things out. So the work has really been almost the somatic embodiment of it. Like, where is it? I'm feeling it in my body and do that. Then essentially, as a being, I feel lighter because I've asked the questions, and there's a recognition that, oh, no, that's not mine.

Walker Bird [00:08:27]:
Sure. Does it come to you in different places in the body?

Kristin Webb [00:08:31]:
Mostly in the. I would say the stomach, chest area. Yeah. Is where I will feel it sometimes in the shoulders, because I will tend to hold a lot of stress in the neck and shoulders, too.

Walker Bird [00:08:44]:
Me too. The traps are like. Especially when you're in front of the keyboard, you know, you don't do what I do, but I'm sure there are moments of great stress.

Theresa Hubbard [00:08:57]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:08:57]:
Oh, gosh, I get it, is what I'm saying.

Theresa Hubbard [00:09:05]:
Was there something, Kristin, for you, like a pain point where there was enough pain in your life that you feel like you're I don't know that you could allow the journey to be more intentional.

Kristin Webb [00:09:28]:
Yeah, there was, for sure. So I think I've always had kind of moments of this inner knowing and more as a child and a teenager, but then totally shut that down until I had been married, like we were coming up on almost 20 years and the kids were going to be leaving home soon. And I remember thinking to myself, I. I felt physically ill and that I just couldn't see another 20 years in the same situation. And so it was a pivotal moment. I was driving to work in that morning, and I'm not sure why that day sticks in my mind, but as I'm driving, I remember kind of looking at the clouds and almost praying in a way, like asking for guidance. I don't know how I, you know, supposed to move forward, but I just know that it has to be different than what I. Where I'm at and, you know, kind of give me the guidance because it's felt daunting to get a divorce and.

Kristin Webb [00:10:46]:
And leave him. We had so much enmeshed in each other and businesses and finances and homes and so, yeah, I mean, it would have. It could have been easy to say no. It would just be easier to stay in the situation. But it felt like life or death. I mean, really, it did. And. And it was more of an emotional life or death, not a physical.

Kristin Webb [00:11:18]:
But in that moment, I just felt this peace wash over me, as though I knew, okay, one day at a time, I'll be guided. I just trusted that. And even then, I didn't really have any grand insight as to what the next step was going to be. But looking back, that next year was a year of a lot of strengthening, a lot of strengthening physically for myself. I. I went to Pilates and did some yoga and I got stronger. I started reaching out to friends again, going, you know, girlfriends, having, you know, lunch and dinners and doing more things kind of on my own. And that I never did.

Kristin Webb [00:12:04]:
I mean, for the whole time we were married, I let much of that go. So it was that strengthening and support from my friends and the physical aspect. And through that I deepen my spiritual connection to one of my good friends. Kind of introduced me to someone who, I mean, she was a. Oh, I don't even. She's a minister, essentially. I don't know what denomination, but I mean, she just had just the bright light of spiritual that she brought to me. And I remember working with her just on.

Kristin Webb [00:12:46]:
I mean, I grew up very religious and I had all these very, you know, Dogma, Religion. I'm not. Not Catholic, but Lutheran. Pretty strict Lutheran, actually. That's all I thought there was. And so this woman that I'm introduced to and I'm seeing, oh, my gosh, you know, there's Buddhism, there's all these other things. There's, you know, Quakers, and, I mean, I couldn't even name them all, just. And it was fascinating, and I became very open.

Kristin Webb [00:13:18]:
That was a really opening for me. And I would say that's when I just been on the journey and never stopped.

Walker Bird [00:13:27]:
Fascinating.

Theresa Hubbard [00:13:29]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:13:29]:
What do you think the opening was? You know, like this again. I'm like. Like, looking for those turning points that we reach, and all of a sudden you're like, whoa, I can accept this. You know, I don't. It's not that I have to take it, but it's okay.

Kristin Webb [00:13:43]:
Yeah, it was a. It was a heart opening, for sure.

Walker Bird [00:13:46]:
Yeah. Nice.

Kristin Webb [00:13:48]:
Yeah. And the peace, it was just like, wow. And I felt this connection to angels. And again, that's not the first time that in my life that's happened, but it was a really pivotal time. And then my grandma, who was deceased, and I felt a connection to her and just a closeness that. That next year I'd be baking. She was a big baker, and I would just think of her and, you know, feel her almost guiding me as I was making this cake or whatever. Really cool.

Theresa Hubbard [00:14:21]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:14:22]:
That's so nice.

Kristin Webb [00:14:23]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:14:24]:
Yeah. There is a song that I was introduced to, oh, I don't know, 10 or 15 years ago, Kristin, called A Hundred Thousand Angels. Have you heard that song?

Kristin Webb [00:14:38]:
I don't know if I have, but it sounds wonderful.

Theresa Hubbard [00:14:40]:
Oh, it is. It is. I'll send you the link.

Kristin Webb [00:14:45]:
Okay.

Theresa Hubbard [00:14:47]:
Yeah. It is a beautiful. I mean, it is, for me, you know, a beautiful experience of feeling held. Yeah, it's really lovely. And the music is very ethereal and. Yeah, it's really. It's really nice. Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:15:01]:
Yeah. I mean, I just want to share this because it kind of comes to me now, but I've been practicing a meditation where in the meditation, you know, I am getting very grounded, so I try to have a really strong grounding cord in the beginning, but the purpose of the meditation is to reach up and to keep reaching up until I'm in a space that the angels can reach down and grab my arms and keep pulling me closer to them. And I tell you, Theresa, it is just. It's like this being held. It's amazing. And I've been doing that just for probably a few days, actually, and I Think physically, I feel better. Wow. Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:15:47]:
Wow.

Walker Bird [00:15:48]:
Can you share it with us?

Kristin Webb [00:15:50]:
Yeah, it was something. I just. I read about it and I thought, oh, I just want to practice.

Walker Bird [00:15:56]:
And I think our. The listeners would be interested as well. Yeah, we get the resource.

Kristin Webb [00:16:01]:
I will absolutely.

Walker Bird [00:16:03]:
For resources and just, you know, provide as much as we can. And. That sounds lovely.

Kristin Webb [00:16:07]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:16:08]:
We're all here to teach each other, right?

Kristin Webb [00:16:10]:
Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I don't know if you've ever heard of Ann Tucker, but Ann Tucker is actually a channel for the Angels and I'm reading her book. And so the guy. The idea came from reading the book, which I can't remember the name of it, but yeah, I'll definitely get that to you because it's really been a neat experience for me.

Theresa Hubbard [00:16:32]:
Yeah. Thank you. We'll post those for sure.

Kristin Webb [00:16:34]:
Okay.

Theresa Hubbard [00:16:35]:
Since we're on this topic, what other resources do you feel like have been helpful for you on your journey? You know, things that stick out, whether it's books you've read or experiences you've had that you feel like, have been supportive?

Kristin Webb [00:16:52]:
So many. But I, like, I kind of tend to go back to the ones that I keep doing. So 10 years ago, a friend introduced me to Access Consciousness and their clearing statement. And you can actually Google it. It's. They have a YouTube where they walk you through the clearing statement and what it means. And it's one of those things that it's a strange statement. Like it doesn't make any sense, but it stuck with me.

Kristin Webb [00:17:23]:
And for 10 years, that statement was in my head. And then probably three years ago, I went back to Access Consciousness. I did their BARS course, which is really an energy, body energy course. And then I did their basic foundational course, where you go even deeper. And I would say that was enough for me. There's more I could do. It's just not calling to me. But that clearing statement has been so useful.

Kristin Webb [00:17:54]:
Like, if I'm in a space where I'm feeling all this energy again and I say the statement, you know, it tends to lighten. I'm like, okay, I don't know what it's doing, but it works. And I keep using it.

Theresa Hubbard [00:18:08]:
Wow, that's a cool one. Can you say the statement?

Kristin Webb [00:18:12]:
Yes, I can.

Theresa Hubbard [00:18:13]:
Okay. Okay.

Kristin Webb [00:18:14]:
So it's POC, POC, all nines, boys, shorts, POVADS and beyonds. So actually, I didn't say that. Right. Right and wrong, good and bad, POC and POD, all nines, boys, shorts, POVADS and beyonds. So it's an interesting statement. And so Right and wrong. So we tend to go to this polarization place and, you know, we think there's a right or a wrong way to do something, which is that the purpose of that? So we're clearing that good and bad. Same thing, kind of this polarization plot place.

Kristin Webb [00:18:51]:
POC POD is interesting because POC stands for point of consciousness, and point of destruction is the POD. So, again, clearing kind of these energy thought points and things. The other things. I don't know what they stand for.

Walker Bird [00:19:08]:
And they're working.

Kristin Webb [00:19:10]:
They're working. And again, there's a YouTube that you can watch, and I can get you the source on that.

Theresa Hubbard [00:19:17]:
Great.

Kristin Webb [00:19:17]:
It's just something that stuck with me, and it does seem to lighten the load, you know, sometimes.

Theresa Hubbard [00:19:24]:
Yeah. It's interesting. Kristin, what comes to mind when you're saying that is I'm trained in hypnotherapy and have done that for a long time. And there are different scripts that you use to help people get more in their body and present that are. Well, and I don't know if this is true amongst all modalities and hypnosis, but confusion scripts. And so you're. You're saying things in such a way that don't make sense so that your body is hearing it, not your mind. And so I'm curious, you know, as you.

Theresa Hubbard [00:20:03]:
Yeah, I mean, I'll watch the video. I mean, I'm so curious. But that's what came to mind. Yeah. Because we're always trying to figure it out.

Kristin Webb [00:20:12]:
Yes, we are.

Theresa Hubbard [00:20:15]:
But I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have any awareness in your body when she said the phrase.

Walker Bird [00:20:23]:
I. I didn't. I was. Because I. The. The acronyms were so unfamiliar. Like, what the heck is she saying?

Kristin Webb [00:20:28]:
I know.

Walker Bird [00:20:31]:
And so I thought it was, you know, I don't know, some foreign language. So my.

Theresa Hubbard [00:20:36]:
Annie.

Walker Bird [00:20:36]:
I'm sorry, my brain just was like, it's okay. Instead of me feel.

Theresa Hubbard [00:20:41]:
Yeah. I felt releasing my shoulders nice. When you. When you were saying it. So. Yeah. Interesting.

Kristin Webb [00:20:48]:
Yeah. What?

Walker Bird [00:20:50]:
No, I'm just thinking I got to go back and listen to the recording so I can. Yeah. Tune in.

Theresa Hubbard [00:20:58]:
Okay. So that was it. What other things come to mind that you feel like, have been supportive of your journey?

Kristin Webb [00:21:04]:
Well, along the way, I'm trying to think. I've done so many things more recently. I will say this idea around so the nervous system. So in my work, I'm trained in emotional intelligence, which brings a lot of the mindfulness and a lot of the neuroscience background to it, because I work in corporations and Oftentimes companies have to have the science to believe it. Right? And so that's really a nice piece that I can bring. And the first time I did a. I never, ever thought in my career I would be teaching like a group of 20 business people to do a mindfulness meditation, which is really simply breathing. But it's been fun.

Kristin Webb [00:21:57]:
And you know, a lot of people are like, oh, I don't know about this, but when, when we're done, they love it. And people keep doing kind of these simple breathing techniques and then we have them report back on, you know, how they feel, which is always fun too. So from there, I think I've now more recently been diving into the nervous system kind of understanding. And Alchemical Alignment is a company that actually my daughter Kelsey got me connected with. And they do some things that are interesting. And every morning I do some movement, which is a combination of some qigong and yoga and other things just to kind of help settle the nervous system. And I find it to be so helpful. And more recently also been working on my nervous system around money and finances and how to kind of recognize that I've really had some blocks there not knowing that those things.

Kristin Webb [00:23:06]:
So those are some more recent things. What else? I'll keep thinking about it.

Theresa Hubbard [00:23:14]:
No, that's. No, it's helpful. Yeah, very helpful. So do you, you mentioned like some movements that you do. Do you have a process that you do daily to help ground yourself and get yourself present and as fully in your body as you can be?

Kristin Webb [00:23:36]:
Yes, I do. So I. Human design is where I'm kind of leaning in more today. And so with learning about my human design and I'm happy to share kind of what I've learned there, but it's caused me to take a step back and say, okay, how can I live a life according to my human design? So that it's, it's, it's more in the. I'm more in the flow and, and all of that. So the very first thing I tend to do, I get up, you know, around 6:30 in the morning, take care of my animals, and then I journal. And I will sit and journal for 10 or 15 minutes almost every day. Now it's pretty like if I don't do it, I have to, there has to be a real reason I'm not doing it because it's so meaningful for me.

Kristin Webb [00:24:32]:
And then I will get up and I will do different types of body movements with the qigong And Alchemical Alignment actually has two or three short videos you can purchase and I've purchased those and those are great ones too, just to kind of help ground and do the nervous system. And then. Theresa, what I've discovered, I've had a lot of issues in my life around with the digestion. And so it's important for me to eat a good breakfast to start off the day. And so I tend to spend time fixing a breakfast, actually cooking instead of just what I used to do would be grab a waffle or, you know, a bowl of cereal. I don't do those things because they just don't start my day off well. And then I try to start work, you know, 8:30 or 9 if I can. It's not always possible, but that's kind of my morning routine to get me going and get me.

Kristin Webb [00:25:35]:
Yeah, when I do that routine, my day goes much better.

Theresa Hubbard [00:25:38]:
Mm. Yeah. Caring for ourself and our body very intentionally. Yeah. It takes effort, but I know our body appreciates the effort.

Kristin Webb [00:25:57]:
Yes. Self care is something that 15 years ago, kind of when I had this, you know, inner knowing that I needed to make some significant change. That's why I started with the Pilates at that time and in a little bit of yoga. I mean, I grew up on a farm. I've always been a relatively healthy eater. Probably my biggest downfall is dessert because I love, you know, desserts. Yes.

Walker Bird [00:26:26]:
Sugar.

Kristin Webb [00:26:27]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:26:31]:
Walker's doing keto right now. No sugar and.

Kristin Webb [00:26:34]:
Oh, wow.

Theresa Hubbard [00:26:35]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:26:35]:
Yeah, I'm a sugar fiend. I mean, I get you. Anyway, back to you.

Kristin Webb [00:26:42]:
Yeah, I've done keto before. It's not easy. Yeah. Well, I, two years ago, discovered that I, lo and behold, grew up. My dad was a wheat farmer. Apparently I have an intolerance to gluten, so I don't know that it's awful, but I do try to eat with, you know, gluten free as much as possible, and I think that it helps. But sugar is another thing I need to always think about. Minimize as much as I can.

Theresa Hubbard [00:27:17]:
But yeah, our body likes it.

Kristin Webb [00:27:20]:
Yes. Yes. So my self care, you know, like I say, 15 years ago, I had to really up my game a lot. And I still feel like I do a lot and. And much of that includes, you know, wellness visits. I also made a commitment back then because I was getting chronic sinus infections and I just then every time I would take an antibiotic, I would develop an allergy to the antibiotics. So I have this list of allergies to these medications. And I thought, I just can't keep going down this path.

Theresa Hubbard [00:27:59]:
Right.

Kristin Webb [00:28:00]:
Nor did I want to So I really dove into how can I naturally heal my sinuses and what might be the cause. And I mean, it's been quite a journey for 15 years to figure that out. And I have not had a sinus infection since. I have not taken this. No antibiotics since then either. I have done everything from ayurvedic healing and natural kind of eating to seeing not so many dietitians as much, but just more natural healers, kinesiologists. Right now I'm seeing a chiropractor up in the Kansas City area. We're doing a lot of acupuncture, laser treatment.

Kristin Webb [00:28:46]:
I mean, it's ongoing. I just, it just doesn't ever seem to end. But I feel better. I am 58. I feel like some days I have more energy than I did in my 30s, but I think I depleted my body a lot. 30 years in corporate and then 20 years married to a man who was. It was a complicated marriage and there was a lot of, you know, trauma and energy happening in that interaction. So, yeah, it's taken a lot of kind of layers to peel back the onion.

Walker Bird [00:29:25]:
Yeah, it's, it's. I mean, what's occurring to me because I. A different place, but a similar path right through that we can, we can achieve success in the corporate world or in the law world. For me, up to, you know, for a long, long time until. Without really knowing ourselves or having that opening. Right. And then it's like things start happening. That's knocking on the door.

Kristin Webb [00:29:54]:
Yep.

Walker Bird [00:29:56]:
When you're working with people now, executives now, how do you start the process of opening, you know, that self, you know, that inner knowing for them?

Kristin Webb [00:30:10]:
I have learned, Walker, to let them come to me.

Walker Bird [00:30:14]:
Ah.

Kristin Webb [00:30:15]:
And because that was not my MO for many, many years, most of what I did, I was in a position as an HR leader where, you know, I was almost preaching to people and kind of pushing things, pushing where I thought we needed to be and where we needed to go and what we needed to learn and really just wearing myself out. And then I think it's taken quite a while. I've been. So I stopped my full time job in corporate three years ago and that has been a complete detoxification. And today, as hard as it is sometimes to wait for people to come to me, that's what I do. I wait for them to come. Now sometimes they come because they think, oh, you know, I'm having this one person at work that I'm having trouble with. I just need some help with conflict management.

Walker Bird [00:31:14]:
Right.

Kristin Webb [00:31:14]:
Or maybe they Just need some help. And I just need to better communicate my points to my team because my team's just not getting it, you know, whatever. And so I'll take whatever they bring, and that's where we start. And we go as far as they're willing, and then sometimes that's not very far and they have to go on and. And maybe they'll come back and maybe they won't. So I'm just, I'm learning to, you know, meet people where they are, just bring them forward as far as they're ready to go. And then when they're done, I have to be willing to say, okay, this was fun, and I'm done too. Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:31:57]:
Okay. There's.

Walker Bird [00:31:59]:
In reading your LinkedIn profile, there's. There's some reference to helping people find meaning in work. You know that. And maybe it wasn't even direct, but that was my sense of it. Okay. Yes, tell us about that.

Kristin Webb [00:32:14]:
Okay. I love that. It's one of my favorite things to do. I think that for my generation, being in the corporate world, we were taught to leave the personal life behind. Leave your work, leave your personal life at the door. You're at work now, as though you needed to be a different person. And I truly was a different person at work than I was at home. And those two things didn't blend.

Kristin Webb [00:32:45]:
And I. And because I also worked in human resources where I held a pretty high standard for myself that, you know, we have to keep things very confidential. We, you know, you don't get caught gossiping. I mean, those things are just unhealthy for an organization in general. But I felt like I held myself to a much higher, almost a perfectionist standard.

Walker Bird [00:33:11]:
Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:33:12]:
So I think that somewhere along my career, maybe, maybe about the time, maybe it was about 15 years ago, I realized that there's got to be more to life than this. Right. Where's the meaning in this? And how, how do you find purpose? And I was lucky to work for a CEO who also believed in Abraham Maslow's hierarchy and self actualization. And so we had a cornerstone pillar in our business around helping people self actualize. Well, what the heck is that? Right? And so it's a big thing to say, oh, we help our employees self actualize, but how do you do that? And what does that even mean? And so because I was in human resources and also found myself really kind of intrigued with learning and development and especially leadership development, we took the whole idea, myself and a colleague of mine, around self actualization and thought, how can we do this and how can we create a. Help individuals create their own path to self actualizing. And I'm pleased to say we did it. It was so much fun.

Kristin Webb [00:34:38]:
And we started off the journey with helping them see, like if you look back on your life today, what have you done, what have you achieved? And we would ask them to create this big white piece of paper, sort of using pictures or whatever they wanted to, to depict the journey of their life. And what that did for people was it opened up this idea that, oh wow, there's so much more to me than what you see every day when I show up at work. And we got to. We put them on the wall and so if we had 15 or 20 people in the room, you'd have all these posters around the wall and just the aha's and the recognition that man, I've done and accomplished so much. Even people that were 20 something, right, had these fantastic journeys. So then we spent the rest of the time helping connect them with where they wanted to be going and that we put them in the driver's seat. You're the driver, you get to choose. It's not about the company telling you, here's the career path I need to be on.

Kristin Webb [00:35:54]:
Now. The downside of that was when people left the room, they were jazzed and excited about what they discovered, where they wanted to go. And then they go back to work and they work for bosses that don't know how to help them. And people became a little disgruntled and frustrated. So we still had a lot more work to do, but at least we were starting on that path of kind of, how do you bring meaning to your life?

Theresa Hubbard [00:36:22]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:36:27]:
Is it. Which is.

Theresa Hubbard [00:36:29]:
Go ahead.

Kristin Webb [00:36:29]:
I'm sorry. The only thing I was going to add to that is, which is why now when I'm working with people, I don't bring a standard methodology because I just don't. That doesn't work. I feel like you have to commit to work with me for a long enough period of time that we get to know each other and we can establish, I think pretty quickly some trust. But then where do you want to go? And I'll help, you know, be there with you along the way. I mean, my preference really is to have long term clients, not clients that want a quick fix and want to move on.

Walker Bird [00:37:06]:
Yeah, well, we all want the quick fix, but once you've started doing the work, it's like, yeah, that, that's not it. No, you know, to me we're. It's just, it's there's always going to be something I need to learn, so. And also interest. Just thinking about executives or. Or people that have. Have gone to high levels in performance. Um, but how much higher? You know, Cause that's great.

Walker Bird [00:37:32]:
And they may be only willing to go so far because they don't see that it could be that much more. But I believe that it could be that much more through processes like you're talking about, you know, because the satisfaction piece would drive, you know, not just you, but the rest of your team. So there's a sadness piece for me. And even talking about it, which is fascinating. I'll have to dig into that and some journaling.

Kristin Webb [00:38:00]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I find to success and how we define success in society by the money you make and the things that you have. I mean, I work with executives and have in the past that had more money, more things. They couldn't possibly spend it fast enough, you know, and they were still driven to make more money. And so by our definition of success, they're successful. Right. And it was difficult to get them to see how things could even be better for them. Like, you know, you're talking more.

Kristin Webb [00:38:39]:
And I'm sitting across the table from an executive. This was several years ago. And he's looking at me like, Kristin, I'm dealing with $100 million decisions every day. I mean, what more could there be? Like, you just have no idea. And, you know, how do you. And he wasn't. He wouldn't crack open.

Walker Bird [00:39:02]:
Sure.

Kristin Webb [00:39:02]:
A lot of them won't, but. Yeah. Sad.

Theresa Hubbard [00:39:09]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think about, you know, for myself, and we've talked about this several times over the last year. What's my number one goal? What is most important to me?

Kristin Webb [00:39:27]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:39:28]:
Relationship with myself, with others, or money, material, whatever. Yeah. And I think it is difficult. Relationship is probably one of the most complex things that we do.

Kristin Webb [00:39:51]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:39:52]:
And the amount of energy that it takes and the effort that it takes to keep trying and to do it well is a lot. And we don't have a lot of good, helpful models. I think there's a lot more research around business and finances, and those can be complex, too, but there. There can be a linear piece. And I don't know that relationship with ourself and others is in any way linear.

Kristin Webb [00:40:27]:
No.

Theresa Hubbard [00:40:28]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:40:29]:
Do you guys think it's harder to work on relationship with others or ourselves?

Kristin Webb [00:40:37]:
Oh, so I was good.

Theresa Hubbard [00:40:42]:
Yeah, it's both. Yeah. I saw. It's just. It's. Well, we can only see what we can see about ourselves. Right.

Kristin Webb [00:40:52]:
Yep.

Theresa Hubbard [00:40:53]:
And then our conditioning. I mean, when I was listening to you talk earlier, just thinking about, you know, my own process of codependency and, you know, what I learned about relationship that I didn't even know I was learning about, and how can we see clearly if we don't have contrast? And so what I was, you know, thinking about, there was something you said, Kristin. I don't remember what it was, but I just remember thinking, oh, you made a choice for your world to get bigger and bigger and bigger. So the opportunity for learning in contrast became. Yeah. More easily accessible.

Kristin Webb [00:41:33]:
That's right. Yeah. It's a good way to put it.

Theresa Hubbard [00:41:37]:
And so I think sometimes, you know, we don't want to learn, we don't want to expand, because then we. We don't actually want to realize we have choice.

Kristin Webb [00:41:46]:
Yeah. Oh. So I just thought of another resource, which I think is one that helped me so much 15 years ago and became sort of a cornerstone in the work that I did at the company I worked at, and that's through the Arbinger Institute.

Theresa Hubbard [00:42:07]:
Oh, yes, yes.

Kristin Webb [00:42:09]:
And so the book Leadership and Self-Deception was relatively new back then and was being passed around to people. And I thought, Leadership and Self-Deception, what an interesting title. You know, And I. And so I read It's a Fable, if you haven't read it. And it's an amazing way to kind of begin to open up and make your world bigger. And you're absolutely right. A big part of that, Theresa, is choice.

Theresa Hubbard [00:42:38]:
Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:42:39]:
And when you see that and you begin to own your choices, it kind of stings.

Theresa Hubbard [00:42:47]:
Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:42:50]:
It's like, oh, I chose that.

Walker Bird [00:42:54]:
No.

Theresa Hubbard [00:42:58]:
Yeah, I agree. I agree. Actually, we just. I mean, that. That episode will be coming out, but we. I just talked about that. Leadership and Self deception and the Anatomy of Peace and, I mean, the five dysfunctions of a team, all those. I mean, there's just so much learning.

Theresa Hubbard [00:43:16]:
Right. But it's like, yeah, do we really want to know?

Kristin Webb [00:43:21]:
Right. That's right.

Theresa Hubbard [00:43:25]:
And I think oftentimes, again, no. No. It's easier if I don't. No. And I'm not saying easier because I don't mean easier in a way that brings freedom or joy or ease.

Kristin Webb [00:43:38]:
That's right.

Theresa Hubbard [00:43:39]:
Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:43:40]:
Yeah, yeah. All we're doing when we don't want to know is we're continuing to have our head stuck in the sand and asking for bigger and bigger, like, things to happen to us that are not fun. And trust me, I've had enough of those in my lifetime.

Walker Bird [00:44:03]:
Right.

Kristin Webb [00:44:03]:
I'm Like, I don't need to keep this sledgehammer does not need to get bigger for me to see that I need to change. Right. I'm creating my reality. As much as I wish I could blame other people.

Theresa Hubbard [00:44:18]:
Yeah, Yeah, I agree. I tell clients I really feel like my job is to help you lower your threshold so that you don't have to be in so much pain to change. Because we do. Some level of pain, you know, has to poke us. I just don't want it to have to be so big.

Kristin Webb [00:44:42]:
Yeah, Yeah. I love that. True.

Theresa Hubbard [00:44:52]:
We're so complex.

Walker Bird [00:44:54]:
We are. Because you can know it and you can say it, and then you still do it.

Kristin Webb [00:44:59]:
That's right.

Walker Bird [00:45:00]:
But less and less.

Kristin Webb [00:45:02]:
Yeah, yeah.

Walker Bird [00:45:03]:
It's worthwhile to. To open up to a bigger world. I. I believe.

Theresa Hubbard [00:45:08]:
I believe.

Walker Bird [00:45:09]:
And I'm. I'm wondering if. If you run into this because it just occurred to me as we were talking, which is a fear that opening up to a bigger world will detract from a high performer. You know, that they're like that. You know, I can't. There's a fear that if I even begin doing that, I'm going to be distracted. I'm not going to continue performing at the level that I've reached. Like the $100 million deal guy, right?

Kristin Webb [00:45:35]:
Yeah, maybe. I never thought about it that way. It's a great way to think about it. You know, I feel like I'm a bit of an achiever, and so when I think about more, I tend to get overwhelmed because I'm like, oh, my gosh, you know, where does it stop? And I want to do all these things and create all this stuff, and it just. It sounds really cool and fun. And so for me, I have to work through and sort through kind of all of the stuff coming at me or that I'm creating for myself and find the one or two things that I can really kind of dig into and create. So that's how that has kind of worked on me, but I never really thought about. Maybe it is.

Kristin Webb [00:46:27]:
It is something that they think would distract them.

Theresa Hubbard [00:46:31]:
I could see that being true.

Walker Bird [00:46:33]:
Well, probably subconscious, even, you know, there's a little glimmer of awareness of it, but, like, yeah, I don't. Why would I need to do that?

Theresa Hubbard [00:46:44]:
Yeah, No, I think it's. I mean, it's a conversation, you know, that I'll have with people. I mean, because I see such a wide variety of people, but I work with plenty of executives. And, you know, what I know for myself is this work Only allows me actually to step into more of what is really important to me, not less. Yeah, yeah. But I could see where people might be concerned about that.

Walker Bird [00:47:16]:
And I'm putting it in terms of executives, because that's your experience, but I think it probably applies to anybody, you know, anyway. Interesting.

Kristin Webb [00:47:27]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:47:27]:
Learning always, always is, right, Kristin, when you think about, you know, the hard, hard days or the harder days or the harder times, what are some of the things that you do to help ground and recenter and remind yourself that are outside of like your daily taking care of yourself, you know, that, like, what might the awareness be that you have where you're like, I am not doing okay, and then how might you care for yourself?

Kristin Webb [00:48:04]:
That's a great question. I have had to. Yeah, so I've had to get better at acknowledging that I'm not doing okay and speaking about it, because I have mastered hiding it for years. And so I. That's been a work in progress for sure. And today, Theresa, I will say learning about kind of my human design, which for me, I'm a manifesting generator and my solar plexus, emotional authority. What that means is that I have this energy that runs through the emotions up and down and up and down. And see, I used to think that all of that was due to the fact that, you know, when it's going up, my life is going.

Kristin Webb [00:49:01]:
Well, when it's going down, something bad has happened or is going to happen. And I used to think that it was all outside of me. And now what I've. I've come to realize is that's just my normal up and down. And it. The ups don't have to be so high and the downs don't have to be so low. They can be more kind of regulated, which is what I'm also working on. But recognizing that now I.

Kristin Webb [00:49:29]:
I'm now asking questions pretty often throughout the day. How am I feeling? And just sitting, you know, like, and taking a deep breath and, you know, how do I really feel in this moment? And if I get kind of the answer back from my body, so I'm tuning in more to the body. It's like we're tired, then I'll just disconnect from work for a little while. And I'm now able, because I moved to the country a couple years, well, actually a year ago now. But I go outside and I take a walk around my property. And that gives me a chance to kind of let go. I'm not. It might not really let the feeling go, but the feeling doesn't seem now so bad.

Kristin Webb [00:50:16]:
Right. I'm still maybe feeling tired, but that's okay. And I'm trying to give myself permission throughout the door, out the day to adjust what's on my plate based on this inner energy that I'm feeling. And that's super hard because I come from a world where I'm scheduled out every day and I'm like, I'm not allowing that anymore. I have to have more flow and be able to connect in. And when I'm not feeling that great, sad, angry, whatever, it's okay. Take a time out and it's okay. And.

Kristin Webb [00:50:57]:
And sometimes it's a day or two to get through that. If it's really a low, low. And almost feeling kind of lethargic or depressed, which is not my usual. I've noticed that some lately. It's like, well, okay, what do I need? Do I just need to, I don't know, go have lunch in a restaurant somewhere or just get out of my. My surroundings, do something different? So I'm trying to really pay attention to that.

Walker Bird [00:51:28]:
Nice.

Theresa Hubbard [00:51:29]:
That is nice.

Kristin Webb [00:51:31]:
And tell people, like, I'm pretty close to my daughter, and I will tell her, listen, you know, I'm kind of feeling grouchy right now, so please don't pick up on this and please don't think you have to fix this because we have some similar tendencies. And it's good that I acknowledge that. And because I. It's new for me.

Walker Bird [00:51:59]:
I was just visiting with somebody about, you know, recognizing whatever the feeling is, and instead of rushing to a solution and push, push, pushing just to be with it. Like, you know, walking around your property, it was the process that I thought about. You were like, it doesn't, you know, I don't have to make it go away. It's just that I can allow. It was my interpretation of your words. And yeah, I've got a lot of, you know, that's like the very, like, oh, really fascinating, you know, so. Something I'll be working on too. So thank you.

Walker Bird [00:52:30]:
Yeah.

Kristin Webb [00:52:31]:
Yeah. And I will say what I have learned is when I do allow it and acknowledge it, it doesn't usually stick around that long. It's when I'm trying to push through or actually even just ignore it. That's when it's just becomes louder and louder and nags at me more. Oh.

Theresa Hubbard [00:52:58]:
Yeah. So at this point of your journey, are there specific intentions that you hold for yourself or goals that you hold for yourself, or do you keep your, I don't know, journey more open and then Whatever is presented is what you're working on.

Kristin Webb [00:53:29]:
It's a great question. So at this point in my life I actually have some loose goals, which is kind of a newer thing for me. Again, I tend to have lived a very structured life and that's what you, what I thought you had to do as a, as an achiever. But so some loose goals that I have for like I've been writing a book and I have been writing this book for now over a year and I'm not done and I don't know when it will be done. I have every intention of finishing and publishing it, but I'm also holding that goal kind of loosely. Like maybe it's this year when it's complete and maybe it's not, but it feels more like it is this year. So I think I'm leaning more into my intuition and knowing on some of those things. I also have this desire with my work to create a community because I think that there's a need with.

Kristin Webb [00:54:36]:
The clients that I tend to be working with right now are sort of mid sized organizations and they're limited on the resources available, especially take their HR teams for instance. So that's what I'm helping them with. And they can't afford and don't really need to have a full time strategic HR person, a chro or an HR leader. But they're, they're missing out on some of the knowledge and expertise that one could bring to them. And so they typically have young HR teams and no one's there to mentor these folks. And so, you know, I, so I'm actually working as a fractional chro right now. But I think what I could, I could actually reach more people if I created a community and invited them to be a part of that community.

Theresa Hubbard [00:55:35]:
Sure.

Kristin Webb [00:55:36]:
So that's something that's kind of on my mind as well for a future goal. I also think there's more I want to speak about and say and share. I have all this, which is one of the reasons I've, I've started my business because I have over 30 years of corporate experience, HR experience, not to mention all of the inner work experience I've done.

Theresa Hubbard [00:56:02]:
Right.

Kristin Webb [00:56:02]:
And I think I want to find some things I want to be speaking about and, and putting myself out there more. So that's really on me. I need to get out there more and I'm. That's kind of a step this year that I'm focused on.

Theresa Hubbard [00:56:18]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always more to, I don't know, explore about ourself opportunities for Us to get clear in our mind and body about the direction that we're going.

Kristin Webb [00:56:39]:
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I would say. I mean, I bought the property I'm living at three years ago with the intention of remodeling the house, which I've done. And then I was going to create some kind of a retreat space here, which I don't. I just don't know. I'm not feeling that right now. I'm not. I'm not even sure I want to stay out here long term.

Kristin Webb [00:57:02]:
So, you know, when I think about where I might be, you know, living in a few years, I'm not sure. May not even be. I've lived in wichita for over 30 years. May not even be here anymore. So I'm trying to allow much more freedom and space for new things to come into my life and opportunities to consider and not hold on to stuff so hard like I have in the past.

Theresa Hubbard [00:57:29]:
Yeah, yeah. Allow.

Kristin Webb [00:57:32]:
Yes. A lot for sure.

Theresa Hubbard [00:57:35]:
Yeah. Well, if there is an intention or a mantra that you would like to offer whoever's listening today, what might that be?

Kristin Webb [00:57:50]:
I've been thinking a lot about heart centeredness and I. You've probably seen on my LinkedIn and website I talk about heart centered leadership and I think of that both from a. You know, if you're in an organization leading people, obviously coming from the space of the heart, but even just leading ourselves in a heart centered way, I think that's where the future is, is pulling us towards in this age of Aquarius, where I think we'll be kind of coming more into community in the future. We're not there yet, but I feel that change happening as well. So yeah, that's what I've been focused on is what can I do to clear my heart to come from a heart centered, purposeful place. And if that's just in how you live your life, that's what I would want for everyone.

Theresa Hubbard [00:58:50]:
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Kristin Webb [00:58:52]:
Yeah, you're welcome.

Walker Bird [00:58:53]:
Yeah.

Theresa Hubbard [00:58:53]:
Lovely. Well, thank you for your time today, Kristin. It was great to see you and to get to share and connect.

Kristin Webb [00:59:03]:
Absolutely. Yeah. Likewise.

Walker Bird [00:59:06]:
We are so excited about sharing with you our new retreat. Becoming unshakable. From self doubt to daring.

Theresa Hubbard [00:59:14]:
Yeah, we love doing retreats. It's a lot of fun. We really enjoy that group in person process. Everything that Walker and I create is something that we do with a lot of intention. Every retreat we do is a new retreat. We don't repeat retreats and so it's always an adventure for us and creating the next one based off where he and I are and our own personal growth journey.

Walker Bird [00:59:42]:
Yeah. We look forward to holding space for you.

Theresa Hubbard [00:59:45]:
Yeah. We hope you'll consider joining us. Thank you for joining us today. We are excited to explore life with you. We encourage curiosity, self growth and we strive to be more compassionate every day.