From Wall Street to Spiritual Awakening

Walker Bird [00:00:04]:
My Inner Knowing empowering you to find your compass for the journey. We are dedicated to supporting you to rediscover and trust your natural ability to navigate life. Each day by sharing insight and experience through the lens of two professional communicators and their guests, we intend to prompt internal inquiry that supports all those willing to explore a unique path.

Theresa Hubbard [00:00:32]:
Well, hello.

Walker Bird [00:00:32]:
Hello.

Theresa Hubbard [00:00:34]:
Good morning, Judy. How are you?

Judy Morris [00:00:36]:
Good morning. I'm fantastic. Thank you so much for inviting me to be here with you both.

Theresa Hubbard [00:00:42]:
Oh, thanks for agreeing to spend this time with us this morning. So you tell us where you're from and a little bit about what you do.

Judy Morris [00:00:53]:
I'm a Los Angeles native, so I live in Los Angeles, California, and I am a transformational coach. I work with individuals, entrepreneurs, on their personal and professional goals, really empowering people to living fulfilled lives.

Theresa Hubbard [00:01:11]:
Thank you, Judy. And you know this podcast that Walker and I do, exploring everybody's story in regards to, you know, how they are aware of their inner knowing, what their journey, where they are right now in their journey, and then a little bit about how you got to this place where you are transformational coach.

Judy Morris [00:01:43]:
Well, my background began in finance. I actually started my career on Wall Street. I was a financial advisor and, you know, coaching people around their financial goals, and that was very fulfilling and rewarding. I had been an insurance agent prior to that, so I had 14 years total of financial services experience. And I loved working with individuals on their financial plans, working on their future, setting up for retirement goals of purchasing properties or traveling or taking care of loved ones, all of those things. And again, even though that was around finances, that was still a form of coaching. I've always. I feel that when I incarnated into this lifetime, coaching and teaching was really the.

Judy Morris [00:02:29]:
I call it a seed packet. Every human being is born with a seed packet. And oak tree already has that in the seed in the packet when you purchase it at the shop, right when you go to the. To the nursery to get seeds. So I feel like that was already my seed packet. And so whatever different things I've done throughout my lifetime has involved coaching and teaching, but I, I suffer from alcoholism. I'm recovering alcoholic. I've been sober now for over 22 years.

Judy Morris [00:02:56]:
But during the course of my time on Wall street dealing with everything, you know, my alcoholism escalated and I started to have a lot of personal challenges. It didn't interfere with my work life. You know, I think people sometimes have a really inaccurate view of alcoholism, as though it's always somebody who's falling down or can't get up and go to work or something really dramatic like that. And for me was the typical come home and drink a couple bottles of wine and pass out or, you know, drinking on the weekends or whatever. Just sort of blow off steam. But it was really a lot of the underlying unresolved depression. You know, I had lived with suicidal depression all my life, since I was a child. I was so depressed, I had unresolved trauma that I hadn't dealt with.

Judy Morris [00:03:41]:
And I just kept pouring more and more alcohol on top of everything. And it just. You know, there gets a point where you pour so much alcohol and something, you start drowning in it, you know? So I realized I really needed to get help. And when I went to my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, I had no idea that alcohol wasn't my problem. It was my solution. My problem was living. I didn't know how to live. And in Alcoholics Anonymous, they didn't just teach me how to stop drinking.

Judy Morris [00:04:10]:
They taught me that I needed a higher power. I needed a power greater than self in order to live and to be free from hurting myself. And so I got so much more than I bargained for. When I walked into those rooms, I found not only a program for living in a spiritual path that I didn't even know I wanted or needed, but that opened up the door to start going to therapy and working through my childhood trauma and really just working on healing the wounds that I had been dealing with that had really been. Had started to deal with me, Right? And it was just such a beautiful journey of self discovery. And then I started. I. I discovered transformational courses, and I started to participate in transformation.

Judy Morris [00:04:50]:
Then I ended up becoming a leader and a trainer in the transformational world, you know, so my spiritual evolution just expanded. And the more I learned about God, if you will, higher power, the universe, manifestation, healing, that became my passion. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I really. This is what I want to be talking about. I don't want to be doing financial plans. I want to talk about life plans and blueprints and helping people. People navigate and work through all the chains that bind them for freedom.

Judy Morris [00:05:21]:
You know, like, that became my passion. And so in 2010, I sold my book of business to another advisor, and I started my coaching practice.

Theresa Hubbard [00:05:31]:
Wow. For you, Judy, in that process, when you're involved in AA and you are working through the steps, for you, that shift, was it more subtle and gradual as you continued doing the work or at some point did it. Was it kind of like hit you in the head? That shift into choosing to live.

Judy Morris [00:06:06]:
It's a great question and it's a little bit of a complicated answer, and I'm going to give it to you. So I want to back up slightly since this is my Inner Knowing podcast. When I was 18 years old, I started drinking when I was 12, and when I was 18, which was seven years before I actually got sober, approaching my 18th birthday, I had an inner knowing, an intuition, a download that said, you're not a little kid anymore. You can't keep doing this. You know, like, it's all good. When you were a kid and you were avoiding whatever dealing with as a kid because, you know, kids don't have options. You're kind of trapped in your family system and till you're old enough to do something about it. So I had that inner knowing.

Judy Morris [00:06:47]:
And then when I turned 18, I actually went to my first meeting and I white knuckled it 72 hours sober. Walked into my first meeting shaking like a leaf, almost in a panic attack. And I went to meetings, kind of off and on, in and out for a couple years, and I kind of white knuckled it and stayed sober for a couple of years, but I didn't hear the message. I mean, I was physically sober for a little over two years, and I went to meetings, but I promise you, I didn't know what they were talking about. I did not get a sponsor. I did not read the big book other than what we were reading in the meetings. And. And I wasn't doing the work.

Judy Morris [00:07:27]:
And so of course, I relapsed after about two years because that's how that works. If nothing changes, nothing changes, and you end up doing what you've always done. So it took me seven years in and out before I surrendered.

Theresa Hubbard [00:07:41]:
Okay.

Judy Morris [00:07:42]:
So, you know, but. But when I finally got there 22 years ago, which was after that of seven years of toying with the idea, I was done, right? Like, I had really gotten clear. Step one talks about powerlessness, and I was powerless over alcohol. But it's bigger than that, because powerlessness, it's not just, yes, I have an allergy, right? We want to break down alcoholism. It's an allergy in your body. We don't process drugs and alcohol like a normal person. I take a drink or a drug, it takes me. I don't know where I'm going or if or when I'm returning.

Judy Morris [00:08:15]:
And that allergy, that, that way that I process alcohol differently than a normal person, never going to change. No cure. So there's no way for Me to have power over alcohol, except for to have power not to drink it. Right. So the moment that I admitted my powerlessness, I gained power. Not power to drink alcohol, power to not drink it. But powerlessness is so much bigger than that. Because what I had to get connected to is I wasn't just powerless over alcoholism or the allergy in my body or my propensity to want to drink or to run from things or to cover things up.

Judy Morris [00:08:48]:
I was powerless over my maladaptive coping mechanisms. I was powerless over my childhood and the things that had happened. I was powerless over people, places and things and the way this world is organized. I was powerless over all of it. And to the extent that a human being tries to exert power over that which they have no power, their life becomes unmanageable. And so when I, when I got to that place of understanding, like, oh, okay, yes, I have alcoholism, yes, alcohol is a problem. But alcohol wasn't the problem. Alcohol had been my solution.

Judy Morris [00:09:23]:
Right. I was so suicidally depressed and unhappy and miserable. That first drink that made everything go away and made everything calm and relaxed and warm and fuzzy, like that's what I was leaning on for the solution. But then my servant became my master and started to destroy me, you know, and that's the part where I think most people, what I've discovered, it's difficult to make that shift, to understand. It's almost like Stockholm syndrome, relationship with alcohol or drugs, because you're now protecting your perpetrator and you don't know that it's your perpetrator. You don't know that it's been grooming you all those good times where it's taking away your pain, right? It's grooming you to take you to your death.

Theresa Hubbard [00:10:08]:
Yeah, right.

Judy Morris [00:10:09]:
And so if you have this allergy, if you don't have the allergy, good, good for you. We can talk more about that if you want. But I have the allergy, I can promise you that. So for me, you know, that's what happened. And so when I. So I know this is a long answer to that question, but when. So at the end of that seven year period when I got here these 22 years ago, I was done and I was surrendered and I was powerless. I had fully conceded to my innermost self that I was alcoholic, I had alcoholism, and that there, that was that, and that this was the solution.

Judy Morris [00:10:44]:
It was either do this or kill myself, you know, and, and so I just surrendered and I just did the work. And there really, there was no resistance. There was no conversation. And, yeah, there was a gradual blossoming, opening spiritually to really not just get the concepts conceptually, but really integratively and to really become right. This new character. That was a process, but the surrendering to it and the commitment to this way of life, for me, it was like an in seven years that turned into that instant, in that final surrender.

Walker Bird [00:11:20]:
Judy, you talked about having the inner knowing when you were 18. That at least started you down that path that took them seven years of ups and downs. Did you. At that moment where you're saying, you know, it came together, was that a return of the inner knowing? And if it was, how did it come to you?

Judy Morris [00:11:46]:
I was living with my friend, and I had a place together at that time when this last time, when I got sober. And her. She had a young son, and he was really obsessed at that time with the Lion King. And he was watching it all the time. I was really hungover one Sunday and feeling very miserable. And I was laying on the couch in the living room, and he had the Lion King on. And there is a scene in the Lion King. For those of you who have seen the film, and if you have not seen the film, I don't care how old you are, I highly recommend it.

Judy Morris [00:12:21]:
It's a very powerful film about transformation, by the way, in any case. So there's a scene in the film where Simba, the main character of the film, he's going through a sort of a existential crisis, and he's trying to get reconnected to who he really is. And there's a spiritual rafiki, this spiritual leader in the story who is trying to remind him of who he is. And he takes him to look in the water and see his reflection, really understanding his lineage and where he comes from and his obligation to fulfill his legacy that his father had left behind. And then he has this moment where he's. He starts yelling at the sky to his dad, you know, like, angry about what had happened to him. And then his dad comes from the sky and starts talking to him and says, you are not who you become. You have forgotten who you are.

Judy Morris [00:13:23]:
And I remember hearing that line, I got so clear that I had gotten so far removed from who I was like, really was inside. And I was like. I literally got up and went to a meeting. You know, it was like that, that film and that little child and that moment, just God spoke to me in that moment, the way God spoke to me all my life. You know, I grew up, and I don't want to make this about religion. But I grew up despite whatever chaos and abuse happened in my home. My grandparents were very beautiful, respectable, quality people that were very Christian and took me to church as a child and taught me very good values, and they lived a very good example. And, you know, when I think about the way that they raised me and the way that they lived their life and the way that they conflict resolved, you know, like, they were just really extraordinary people.

Judy Morris [00:14:19]:
And. And I realized how far I had gotten away from. From that, you know, and transformation is really about coming home to yourself, because in step two, it talks about. Came to believe that a power greater than self can restore you to sanity. Well, if you were broken, if you were worthless, if you were a piece of garbage, then you wouldn't be restored, right? Like these classic cars, they get restored to their original condition. It's not fixing something, it's not changing it. It's restoring it. And restoration is to original form.

Judy Morris [00:14:49]:
So if I'm being restored, it's to original condition. Which means I started out perfect, whole, and complete. I started out this beautiful child of God without flaw, right? And then life descended upon me, and circumstances happen, and I made that mean something. And then I got further and further and further away from my true self, my core, my center, my soul, my connection to the divine. And the beauty about the 12 steps or any transformational program, it's not about fixing or changing you. It's about a return to self in your wholeness, completeness, and perfection as a child of God. And you don't have to believe in a religion or, you know, the white man in the sky. I'm saying the sun came up this morning, and you and I had nothing to do with it.

Judy Morris [00:15:32]:
And that power, that source that has the hearts beating in the hummingbird or the tides turning or the seasons changing the leaves, like, that power, that beauty, that mother nature, that is the God that I'm talking about. And when you connect to that and get that you're part of such a grander scheme of things, there's a peace in that.

Theresa Hubbard [00:15:53]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:15:56]:
Wow.

Theresa Hubbard [00:15:57]:
Yeah. Thank you, Judy. What are you thinking?

Walker Bird [00:16:02]:
Just. It's just lovely and brave to. To. To do it in the first place and then to share, but it's. It's just a strength that you bring to your clients. I'm sure. You know, part of that growing process.

Judy Morris [00:16:28]:
How I love my clients so much. I love them. They're the bravest people in the whole world. Like, I really do. And I. It's kind of funny, like, as a transformational coach. What I really believe is I'm a big sister. I really believe that, spiritually speaking, like, these people come into my office dealing with, you know, everybody shows up with, oh, here's my goal.

Judy Morris [00:16:46]:
Like, I want my business or I want a relationship or whatever they want, right? But what everybody really wants is to. What I just said is the return to self, the connection to source that they don't even know is missing, you know, and so as we talk about their goals, I'm like, okay, that's cool. And then we get to brass tacks of like, well, let's talk about your childhood and what's going on or what happened and blah, blah, blah. And I get like, in my. My session with a client, the first session, I do my blueprint and I get like, all the information about them so that I understand who is this as a human being. They don't just walk in and we're talking about goals and here, strategies and tata. It's just not how it is. We get.

Judy Morris [00:17:27]:
And by the way, like, not. I mean, I'm not for everybody, you know, not everybody wants to go that deep, and that's okay. But I tell people up front, if they get referred to me, you know, look, this isn't just come talk about your goals and get a strategy plan. That's somebody else. You know, like, you want to come here, you want to actually change your life, and you got to get real and do the work. And if you're ready for that, just a little bit slower process, but really outstanding sustainable results. Because I don't just focus on, oh, let's get a result like, let's get sober, let's get this business going, or let's get. I look for sustainability.

Judy Morris [00:18:01]:
It's not about getting sober. It's about staying sober. Anybody can get sober, no problem. I have clients who've been in rehab 16 times, right? Anybody can get sober. Anybody can get a girlfriend. Anybody can get a job. Anybody can start a business. But can you sustain? Can you expand your container to attract a higher vibration and sustain that vibration in your life? I'm not here to give you something.

Judy Morris [00:18:28]:
I'm here to help you reconnect to something, to reveal something, to expand your capacity for joy, for success, for fulfillment, for authenticity, to live your best life.

Theresa Hubbard [00:18:40]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:18:42]:
What are the steps that you take to. For yourself? Because life throws challenges at all of us constantly, right? Even when we have been doing the work and we've grown so much from where we started. But you talk about sustainability. My interpretation is that's how you keep coming back to this inner knowing and the knowing that you found. So what are your steps to get yourself to that space when you're faced with a challenge?

Judy Morris [00:19:12]:
So the most important relationship in my life is my relationship with God. And again, for our listeners, please don't. Maybe some people have some trauma around that or some fear, whatever, I get it. But I'm not talking about the man in the sky or some religion, please. I just want to reiterate that what I'm talking about is that, you know, our parents, our physical parents in this lifetime, God bless them all, they are like the UPS truck. They brought us here. We come through them, not from them. They're not our higher power.

Judy Morris [00:19:47]:
There's a creator that didn't just create us, that created this whole universe. And if you look at the whole universe, every grain of sand, every ant, every little bug, everything has a purpose in this ecosystem, right? Everything has purpose, everything has a system surrounding it. It's so infinite, right? Like the galaxies, the universe, the world, it's all organized. And so if you think that an ant has a blueprint for its existence and then we as human beings don't, that's short sighted and self abandoning. We were created, we're emanations of the divine and we are by divine design. And we have divinity within us to connect to this inner knowing, this intuition. It's like plugging straight into God. We have that access in any moment, that which created us, that gave us our seed packet.

Judy Morris [00:20:43]:
It's like the instructions on the seed packet. All these rose bush, how do I care for these roses and make them bloom? And like, what's the instruction that we have that through our higher power and creating that relationship and developing that relationship and expanding that relationship to get access to that inner knowing and that intuition, to be able to conduct myself appropriately in each moment. That's the most important relationship to develop in my life, which then gives me access to my highest self. So how do I do? Life is number one. Prayer and meditation, it's the most important thing every day. And knowing every day that there is one who has all power and that one is God, not Judy Morris. I am so clear that I of myself am nothing. When I tap into the power, that's where all the magic happens.

Judy Morris [00:21:33]:
And if things are happening that I don't understand, I get into prayer and I ask God, show me the way. Protect me from my mind. Help me see the truth. What is it that you want me to do here? I can't see it. Can you show Me, can you help me? And then God invariably is going to put some kind of a message, a person, a podcast, you know, something I'm going to see and I'm going to get the breadcrumbs, you know, the little spiritual breadcrumbs, and I'm going to understand in the moment what's going on. But I have a profound faith and trust in God. It doesn't matter what's happening to me. I know that nothing is happening to me.

Judy Morris [00:22:11]:
It's only happening for me. And if I'm willing to investigate, to prayer, to pray, to write and to do the work, I can get the answer at any moment and just create extraordinary results, no matter what's happening.

Theresa Hubbard [00:22:29]:
Judy when you think about the last 20 years and where you are now on your journey, I'm assuming you stayed involved in aa.

Judy Morris [00:22:41]:
Yes, yes, yes.

Theresa Hubbard [00:22:44]:
What other, I don't know, resources did you explore, whether you stayed with them or not? But, you know, what kind of things did you explore on your path the last 20 years, you know, did to increase your awareness, to have contrast, to understand you could even begin to imagine having the life that you have now. What was that like?

Judy Morris [00:23:09]:
So for me, like I said, my spirituality, I actually converted to Judaism when I was 17. And even though obviously that was during a time when I was still in my addiction, that relationship to God was always in the background for me, even when it wasn't like how it is now, it was in the background. And so I deepened my spiritual practice through my personal faith. So that was really powerful for me. And I expanded that into Kabbalah, which is really beautiful explanation of the system of the universe and living. It's very spiritually based. It's not, you know, religion based per se. There's, you can go to, you know, kabbalah.com they have all kinds of information about that, beautiful meditations, books.

Judy Morris [00:23:51]:
Like, it's just so beautiful the way it talks about nature and the universe and our divinity. And it was something that really resonated with me. So deepening that, deepening that practice and that spiritual knowledge, deepening that. And then transformation, you know, I went through transformational program that through, I'm sure, oh, I don't know, maybe you've heard of it. There's an organization called Landmark Worldwide. I did the Landmark forum back in 2003 when I had about 18 months sober. And I spent 15 years there, not only originally as a student, but then as a seminar leader. So I became very, you know, ensconced in that concept of transformation and that was very powerful.

Judy Morris [00:24:36]:
And I can't stress enough how much that's a part of my story. Just giving me the framework for being able to see things the way that they are and not what I'm making them mean. And being able to reframe things in any moment in a way that's going to give me power. And learning how to get interested in being empowered versus being right about something. I mean, that was really transformational. And then I work with, you know, I have a treatment team still to this day. I have a psychic healer that I work with. I have a somatic healer that I work with.

Judy Morris [00:25:07]:
I have a shamanic acupuncturist, you know, because like you said, things come up. And when things come up, I get on the phone with my healer, I'm like, hey, what's going on? I can't really tap into this. Can you help me? You know, we have those sessions and then something's going on. My nervous system gets rattled. Like some trauma happens in life, you know, because things happen. I take the day off, I make an appointment to see him and I get that offloaded off my system, you know, my acupuncturist, all those things I work out, I'm a yogi. Hot yoga is very important to me to move my body, to release things, you know, I also work out at the gym. I eat really clean, high nutrition.

Judy Morris [00:25:44]:
So for me I just bring so much honor to my spiritual practice and to my self care. Because if I'm not loving on myself, if I'm not taking care of myself, if I'm not keeping my vessel inside and out, clean and well tuned, then I can't have that inner knowing I'm not going to have. If I'm eating crappy food and living on caffeine and smoking or arguing with people or in an abusive relationship. Think of it like static or bad wifi signal. It's not going to come in. If you have some outdated technology, it's not going to come in, it's not going to be clear, it's going to be fuzzy and you won't be able to utilize it. Right? So for me I'm really clear. I have to love myself and keep my channel clean and open.

Judy Morris [00:26:28]:
And I love myself so much and I take such good care of myself and I'm not looking outside for some escape or outside for someone to fix something for me. I'm doing the work with God, with my treatment team and I treat myself like that all the time. And I don't have this Illusion that I'm cured or that I'm done. You know what I mean? We have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition in the day that we're in.

Theresa Hubbard [00:26:54]:
Yeah. How old, I mean, as best you can recall, how old were you when you realized your body was important in this process too?

Judy Morris [00:27:04]:
When I was 18, when I had an enlarged liver and I thought I was going to die.

Theresa Hubbard [00:27:09]:
Oh, wow. Wow.

Judy Morris [00:27:11]:
And my doctor told me if I didn't stop drinking, I was going to die, which is part of why I stopped drinking for two years. Out of fear, not out of desire.

Theresa Hubbard [00:27:20]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:27:22]:
And then as I kept going, all the smoking and drinking after that, you know, having panic attacks and then coughing and having asthmatic bronchitis. You know, I quit smoking cigarettes over 10 years ago. That was another story. That was the hardest addiction I ever overcame. Getting sober from alcohol look like child's play, by the way. But in any case, yeah, like, just. I felt like so bad. Like, I just felt terrible and, you know, I just really understood, like, wow, I can't.

Judy Morris [00:27:54]:
I just can't. I can't. I can't eat sugar. I can't. Listen, it's not like I'm resisting going to McDonald's or I'm resisting eating like that. If I eat like that, I'm going to be ill and can't get out of bed. I can't do that. My body just shuts down.

Theresa Hubbard [00:28:12]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:28:15]:
You were talking about how much you love yourself and you. You meant it when you said it. And I think it's an important point and something that. Where maybe it all starts for each of us. And so if you, if you've had resources or teaching or. Or your own wisdom about how do you get to that space where you really mean it? You know, I love myself.

Judy Morris [00:28:42]:
Alcoholics Anonymous. I hate to break it to everybody. It's free. It's free. It's free. You walk in there and it's free. There's no, no, no, there's no fees. Right.

Judy Morris [00:28:52]:
There's no dues or fees. But I gotta tell you, I've done it all and I've been to everything and I love therapy. Don't get me wrong. Shout out to Dr. Bruce Derman, the relationship doctor.net I love that man with all my heart. My original OG therapist. That man saved my life. When I first got sober, I couldn't even get sober because I just couldn't let go.

Judy Morris [00:29:15]:
And my therapy with him completely changed my life. That man is a master. Love him so Much. Spent so much time with him the first two years. Just really intense, like, doing the work. And then, you know, periodically after. And then obviously, I've had other therapists and other teachers, you know, throughout the years, because, you know, you grow and you evolve and you learn something from one teacher and you move on to another teacher. But, I mean, he's just always in my heart so deeply because I love that man so much.

Judy Morris [00:29:46]:
Really, like, Count man saved my life. I will tell you about my first therapy session because I think it's relevant. There's a lot of therapists that are, you know, kind of spray perfume on things or just pat you on the head. And I'd been interviewing therapists because I couldn't get sober. So kind of go Back to this 22 years ago, I was, like, going to meetings, and I just. Like, I knew I wanted to do it, but I couldn't quite. Like, I just couldn't quite stop going to the store and buying wine. Like, I just.

Judy Morris [00:30:12]:
I don't. I didn't know what that was about. And it was like I was really struggling. So I called Dr. Derman because he and I. I met him through actually, a networking group. Remember, I was a financial advisor at the time. So he and I were involved in this business networking group.

Judy Morris [00:30:25]:
And I had heard him lecture, and he was just so genius, so brilliant, so amazing. And. And I asked him, I said, I need. I need help. You know, can you help me? And I remember the very first session, because I had already trusted him. I already knew he was extraordinary. So I walked in there, really bought in to him, right? And. And basically, I had been telling, like, I don't know why I can't stop drinking, and I don't know what's wrong with me and all this.

Judy Morris [00:30:51]:
And. And I'm going to oversimplify this, so please, everybody, really get the context of it. I can't, obviously, recreate that whole session and the relationship, but. But at the end of the session, he basically said, you. You don't stop drinking because you don't want to stop drinking. You actually don't care about anybody but yourself. And he was the kind of guy, at the end of each session, he would write something on a yellow legal pad, tear off the paper, hand it to you, and just walk out of his office like a mic drop. I was always, like, super, like.

Judy Morris [00:31:18]:
Like, here's our assignment bought. Peace. You know, he's so epic, so genius. And I remember sitting there with that thought and being like, you know, like, arguing in my mind, like, that's not true, I do care. Blah, blah, blah. And then it hit me, thank God, somehow it hit me. Kind of that devil angel going back and forth in my mind about what I wanted to agree with and my inner knowing, that relationship with my higher power that was always in the background comes to me and says, you trust this man, you paid this man. Why don't you step out of your point of view that keeps getting you the same exact result endlessly and step into his point of view and stand where he's standing to see what he's seeing.

Judy Morris [00:32:04]:
And then I realized in that moment that all the caring that I was claiming about whatever, that I was so angry and it was true, I didn't care. I was so filled with rage and it doesn't matter how nice or how of service I was in my life, like I hated myself and I hated everybody else and I hated this whole world. I was so full of anger and, and when I just got how much, I just didn't care, you know, and I got connected to his view, that was the access to stop drinking. Because when I got how full of it I was and how I was just operating from this inauthentic place and I go, you know, a lot of times people, and this was great too, because when I walked into his office, he was like, why are you here? And I was like, what a dumb question. What do you mean why am I here? It's a therapy office. He's like, oh, you think people come here to get well? Hahaha. No. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, no, people come here to argue with me.

Judy Morris [00:33:01]:
People come here to prove me wrong. People come here because their spouse is threatening them. People come here because the judge sent them. He said, but rarely do people come here because they actually want to change and get well. And I was like, you know, whoa, really? And so you know what I mean, like that even at the beginning of the session, that conversation was the whole mind blowing conversation and I just started to get how inauthentic I was, how not committed I was, how all I cared about was myself and, and just, you know, squashing my pain and hiding and not dealing and blaming everybody and being a victim and it's your fault and why don't you make me feel better and let me change you? All that codependent, self destructive, negative, egotistical way of living life, that doesn't work, by the way.

Theresa Hubbard [00:33:54]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So complex.

Walker Bird [00:34:10]:
It's the, you know, you, you, the views that we have of ourselves, you know, until the moment is right where we're ready to have somebody teach us that way. And he drops it on you, you know, and it sticks.

Theresa Hubbard [00:34:25]:
Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:34:26]:
It's usually right after that moment of great resistance for me, you know, well, they don't know what they're effing talking about. And then all of a sudden I'm like, you know, that's my sign. I need to start listening.

Theresa Hubbard [00:34:41]:
Yeah, yeah.

Judy Morris [00:34:44]:
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. For me, I just really got in that moment. There's a great saying in Alcoholics Anonymous. Self cannot reveal self to self. And if you notice any, any leaders, any, you know, directors, whatever, in CEOs of companies, any great Olympic athletes, any great musicians, anybody who's really committed to having an extraordinary life, they have coaches, they have an advisory team, everybody that's. Anybody that's achieved anything, you know, Elon Musk isn't out there by himself in his life, right. Like, he has had his team around him.

Judy Morris [00:35:21]:
Steve Jobs, you know, Microsoft, all those guys, like they've had their teams around them and how, how they've been able to accomplish things. Right. No man accomplishes anything alone. Right. Self can't reveal self to self. And when I got that, how clear that is and that, you know, my ego is not out to empower me, my ego is out to kill me.

Theresa Hubbard [00:35:44]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:35:45]:
It's going to tell me so much nonsense. And I have to distinguish what's the voice of the ego in my lower self and what's the voice of God. I have to learn how to distinguish between those two things. And that requires a spiritual teacher, that requires somebody to help me get to know myself and that voice. Somebody that's a, you know, non biased third party that has unconditional positive regard for me, that has that training that can help me get there. And that's what I said at the beginning. Kind of like I'm that big sister. I love myself and I love my clients.

Judy Morris [00:36:13]:
And I can see the child in them, the little inner teenager in them, the possibility in them, I can see that seed packet and I can help them get connected to it. And then I can help them develop that relationship within themselves so that they have an unshakable foundation to go out and live an extraordinary, empowered life.

Theresa Hubbard [00:36:33]:
Yeah, yeah.

Walker Bird [00:36:34]:
When you talk about that, you know, ego versus my higher self or God, how do you know the difference?

Judy Morris [00:36:44]:
So I've actually, in one of my methodologies, I have a whole workbook on this and I talk about heart versus ego. So when it's Something is ego centered. It's loud and it doesn't care. Right. Ego protects itself, defends its point of view and destroys anything in its way. Ego is. I want what I want when I want it, and I really don't care how it affects you. I'm sorry that it's hurting you, but that's your problem.

Judy Morris [00:37:14]:
Right. Ego is a very narcissistic point of view. Me, myself, and I really doesn't take into consideration the big picture of everybody else. Right. But when it's heart centered, when it's God centered, it's not loud, it's not aggressive, it's not intense. It doesn't feel like, oh my God, I got to do this right now or I'm going to die. You know? It doesn't have that kind of intensity to it. It's more of a whisper.

Judy Morris [00:37:38]:
It's more of a nudge. It's more of like a feeling, but like slight, not intense. And you have to really get still to hear it. It's very soft, it's very quiet. And. And it's. It's. It's not immediate, it's subtle.

Judy Morris [00:37:54]:
And it always takes into consideration the highest good for all concerned.

Theresa Hubbard [00:38:00]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:38:01]:
And it's usually something I don't want to do. Right. By the. That's the comedy. So, like, if. If you. If you've been dreaming to go back to school to be a therapist, or you've been dreaming to go get your real estate license, or you've been really knowing you need to get a divorce, or you really are have a crush on somebody, but you're terrified to say anything. You know, that kind of stuff.

Judy Morris [00:38:25]:
That's usually the heart and God speaking, nudging me towards my highest self, but it's. It's always terrify and it's always uncomfortable, and it's always very quiet and subtle. And then, you know, again, the ego, it's just very loud, bombastic, you know, fearless, immediate, like, oh, this is going to be great if, you know, whatever. Just like, it's such. Such like a used car salesman. Yeah. Convincing me, you know, Convincing. Oh, convincing.

Judy Morris [00:39:00]:
Oh, no. But you really need to go smoke a cigarette. You just need to drive over there and you can smoke clothes. It doesn't even have to be cigarettes. It's like clothes aren't even cigarettes. They're clothes. It's totally cool. You can just go there right now and smoke that.

Judy Morris [00:39:11]:
You know that crazy talk that comes in that used car salesman voice? I'm just like, no, I'm not smoking anything. Please go bother someone else.

Walker Bird [00:39:23]:
Right?

Theresa Hubbard [00:39:24]:
Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I love that example.

Judy Morris [00:39:30]:
I have a whole workbook on this, and I have a whole program on this. It's called the Miracle method. And it really teaches how to live a miraculous, connected life. And I give all of the examples and the tools. You know, it sounds maybe so. It's like such a big idea, and it really isn't. It's really so simple. And when you have, again, somebody that is living this life and that can really show you how, and if you really step into it, it's so.

Judy Morris [00:39:57]:
I mean, the results my clients get are just so amazing. Yeah, it's just. It's just so amazing.

Theresa Hubbard [00:40:05]:
That's so lovely. You know, Judy, I guess there's the question that comes to mind when you were talking about your. Your therapist and how impactful he was and, you know, that, you know, writing the thing on the yellow piece of paper, kind of handing it to you and leaving, you know, And I know you said that you were bought in, you know, already, because you had experienced him. What do you think it was about his energy or presence with you in that first session that allowed you to, I don't know, maybe hear beyond the.

Judy Morris [00:40:43]:
It wasn't. It wasn't that. It wasn't that first session. It was. I, you know, I. This is how God works in my life. And this goes back to the intuition. Like, I had called a bunch of people from the phone book where I'd had other sessions, and none of that worked.

Judy Morris [00:40:57]:
But let me say something different. When I first got into this networking group and I first met him, I didn't like him. I thought he was actually really arrogant in my interpretation of him. Yes, I didn't like him at all. But what happened was. And he would talk, and I didn't understand how. Whatever. I just didn't get him.

Judy Morris [00:41:15]:
But then I read one of his articles. He did, like, this little workshop with us. And when I read his writing and I saw. And, like, my eyes open, and I was like, I got who he was. And then I was like, oh, wow. And then we all had gone on this retreat for this thing that we were all involved in, and I took him aside and I spoke to him. And the way that he spoke to me, like when I said, I need your help, that vulnerability of asking for help, and then him saying, yes.

Theresa Hubbard [00:41:43]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:41:44]:
And in fact, you know, I was low on. A little bit low on funds at the time. I couldn't afford, like, a thousand dollars a month in therapy, so I. He even worked out A special payment plan with me, you know what I mean? So for me, his willingness to, first of all, the. That conversation we had initially to set it up, his willingness to even make a special payment plan with me, and he was so patient with me. I just remember so many times showing up late to session or, you know, whatever, having so many problems, like he never judged me, like he just loved me. And even he didn't say the words I love you, but I just felt like his commitment to his clients and his commitment to the work and the way that he lived his life like this was a man who loved himself so much and was so committed to his own personal truth in his own life and was just unapologetic about his truth, the way that he lived. I mean, there was so much about him.

Judy Morris [00:42:41]:
And so, you know, I think that for anybody who's looking for a therapist, which I do believe wholeheartedly in, therapy and coaching are very different. And I think they can be extraordinarily complementary to one another. It's not one or the other. You know, you might do them simultaneously or you might do them separately.

Theresa Hubbard [00:42:55]:
Right.

Judy Morris [00:42:56]:
But therapy is a explorative process. It's not like a results oriented process. So you're going in and you're exploring and you're getting tools to heal and possibly a diagnosis. Right. So it's really important that part of it. And then coaching is like, I've created enough space maybe with therapy to now where I can, I can produce a result. And now I'm going to go get coaching to actually get the plan to produce the result. And it's more results focused.

Judy Morris [00:43:23]:
Right. So it can be very complimentary. But I mean, I think you, you need to interview people and talk to people and read what people write or their articles or their books they've written. And you got to really do the work and the. To get bought into something.

Theresa Hubbard [00:43:42]:
Yes, yes.

Judy Morris [00:43:43]:
And then if you're not bought in, don't go back. You know what I mean? If you do a couple of sessions, you're like, this just doesn't resonate with me. Then don't give up. Like, I had to keep going until I got with the right person. And even now my therapist is in London. I have a therapist right now. I love her death. She's the best in the whole world.

Judy Morris [00:44:04]:
She's in London. Our therapy is midnight on Monday. You know what I mean? It's like, because why and how did I find her? It goes back to articles. I was actually researching something for one of my clients. On the Internet. And I had been looking for a therapist, too, and I stumbled upon one of her writings. It like, blew my mind. She was offering a free exploration call and I met with her and she's been my therapist for four years.

Judy Morris [00:44:28]:
Oh, and I love this woman. She's amazing. What a totally different thing I'm working on or dealing with today than my beloved Bruce. You know what I mean? It's like, it's, it's just, it's that if, you know, again, it's investing in making it a priority and important, you know, and, and, and doing that work to make sure that you can have that buy in so that you can be surrendered.

Theresa Hubbard [00:44:53]:
Yeah. Is her presence similar to Bruce or is it.

Judy Morris [00:44:57]:
Not at all. Couldn't be different.

Theresa Hubbard [00:45:01]:
What is it about her that speaks to you so much?

Judy Morris [00:45:04]:
At this time in my life, with 22 years and, you know, being a woman of a certain age, I feel like, you know, she has this, like, big sister, mama bear energy and there's so much love present in her space.

Theresa Hubbard [00:45:21]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:45:22]:
And like, I don't even come with her that much, like, to get her, quote, guidance about something. It's more now about processing things together and just her love for me and the space she holds for me. Like, I know that this woman loves me. Unconditional positive regard. And I. She knows me like she knows me and she remembers things and I can text her what's going on in my life or I can send her something, or, you know, we prepare for session and she just holds me. I just feel like I'm walking around in the world with this blanket around me. I can't emphasize enough.

Judy Morris [00:45:59]:
I cannot.

Theresa Hubbard [00:46:01]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:46:01]:
The first word in the first step is we.

Theresa Hubbard [00:46:05]:
Yes.

Judy Morris [00:46:05]:
And treatment team. I teach all of my clients. I don't care if they're alcoholic or not. You could be the Amish person that vegan. And I'm still going to talk to you about your treatment team. You know what I mean? It's like, we need support. It takes a village. And this whole nonsensical Lone Ranger crap in the US about like, I'm alone.

Judy Morris [00:46:27]:
I'm going to do it alone. No, you're not. You're not going to do anything alone except kill yourself. Seriously. You know what I mean? Like, we need each other.

Theresa Hubbard [00:46:38]:
We do. We do, Judy. We do. Yeah. I hear you. I feel you. Yeah. Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:46:49]:
So that's what she does for me. She's my big blankie that I take with me everywhere I go. And if I. It could be any time of the Day or night, I could be in crisis and I can send her an email and not that she's going to answer me in that moment, but just knowing like there's this human being that knows me and loves me and I can send that during any moment and then the next day. Not like we're texting or emailing every second, but I'm just saying, like if something big happens, like when my auntie passed away recently.

Theresa Hubbard [00:47:14]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:47:14]:
The first person I told was her. Like I sent her the, you know, information and she was like, oh, I'm praying for you, whatever. I, you know, we'll process it in session. And then. But just that little note like that she cares and that we're going to process it. And then I went to session and she knew what I was already did. You know what I mean? Like that kind of connection that's part of my self love is I set myself up with team around me, with God's arms wrapped around me through others to hold me and carry me through this complex thing called life.

Theresa Hubbard [00:47:44]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:47:44]:
Ain't nobody gonna make it alone.

Theresa Hubbard [00:47:46]:
Right. Thank you so much, Judy, who so appreciate your sharing. Yeah. Your vulnerability, your process. Yeah. As we're wrapping up, what is something that you would like to share with the people that are listening? Anything that you don't feel like you have covered that maybe comes to mind. An intention you would like to hold for them. Like what comes to mind for you?

Judy Morris [00:48:23]:
If you really knew your divine identity, if you knew who you were and whose you were, all of the stress and suffering that you're dealing with would so dissipate. Yeah. And you are not alone. No matter how alone you feel, you are not alone. There is a loving creator in this universe that created you, that knows you and that loves you. And that is just hoping that you'll get in touch. I want to say one thing. It's very important.

Judy Morris [00:48:52]:
God gave us all agency so we have free will. Right. So he can't. Here's the problem. God loves us. He has many more blessings available than he has children willing to receive of them. But he can't give them to me unless I ask. Otherwise he's infringing upon my free will.

Theresa Hubbard [00:49:10]:
Yeah.

Judy Morris [00:49:11]:
So God is just dreaming. And those of you that have children that are struggling in your life, guess what? Do you wish for your kids to fall apart and be alone and not have help? Of course not. You wish they to call you and say, hey, mom or Dad, I need help. And of course you would do anything for your children, Right. Well, our heavenly Father, our heavenly mother, Mother Nature, whatever you want to call it, loves us. And it's just waiting, it's just hoping, it's just dreaming that we're going to pick up the phone called prayer and reach out and say, hey God, it's me. I don't know you, but I want to know you. And I'm scared and I need help and I don't know what to do.

Judy Morris [00:49:47]:
I don't have the strength. Can you help me? Can you show me the way? And you will be amazed. You don't have to believe, but if you just open your heart, no matter how silly it sounds or feels, no matter how scared or skeptical, if you take the contrary action and open your heart and reach out, I promise you, God will reach right back to you and lift you up and comfort you and give something to you that you can't imagine that's going to aid you on your way. So I just really encourage everyone, open yourself up to that. Let whatever anger or stories or prejudice or skepticism that you have about it, put it all aside and just try. Give it a chance. You are loved.

Theresa Hubbard [00:50:42]:
Thank you, Judy.

Walker Bird [00:50:43]:
Thank you, Judy.

Theresa Hubbard [00:50:44]:
Yeah, it was beautiful. Yeah.

Walker Bird [00:50:47]:
Appreciate it.

Theresa Hubbard [00:50:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Judy Morris [00:50:52]:
Teaching Sharing so I have a website, judymorriscoaching.com I also have an Instagram and I'm a published author. I wrote a book called Recovered. If you were interested in this conversation today, you can read about my story. And I also talk about the miracle method, about how to connect your heart and intuition. That's also outlined in the book. And then in the back of the book it has stories about my client's successes and then also resources in the back for healing. And I would like to extend an offering to anybody who's listening. You can book a free, no obligation phone exploration call with me.

Judy Morris [00:51:22]:
You can just reach out to my, there's a, on my website there's an inquiry, my email. You can just reach out to me via email and I would be really happy to extend that to you. Thank you, Judy.

Theresa Hubbard [00:51:35]:
That was great. Thank you. Thank you for joining us today. We are excited to explore life with you. We encourage curiosity, self growth and we strive to be more compassionate every day.